Gathered Wool

I just caught up with a smart piece over at RotoJunkie investigating the effect that switching from the NL to the AL has on starting pitchers. There's a lot of buzz about the boost Pedro will get from a free out every nine batters, but we don't often think about the reverse impact of suddenly being deprived of this luxury. In light of the fact that the marquee teams in the AL East have imported Carl Pavano, Jaret Wright, Wade Miller and Matt Clement from the senior circuit, it will be interesing to see who makes the adjustment more quickly.

How the heck do you project VORP for a knuckleballer, anyway? Is there some poor equivalent of Doug Mirabelli slaving away in the thankless employ of the PECOTA people? Or do they just drop a jumping bean on a scattered pile of bingo cards and see where it stops?

The defending world champions haven't started the season with a new shortstop since the '92 Blue Jays replaced Manny Lee with Tony Fernandez for 1993.

Speaking of the offseason's Three Shortstop Monte, I'm not at all sorry that David Eckstein has taken his .332 slugging percentage to a place where he will trouble the Red Sox no longer (or at least much less...stupid interleague play). He was a mere 17 for 36 against Boston during the regular season last year. I know I should be inspired by his tireless efforts to maximize his modest physical gifts, but man do I hate that twerp.

Robert De Niro has charged headlong into so many bad movies of late that I'm led to believe that Wendell Kim is his agent.

Speaking of third base coaches, Varitek has nobly defended third-base coach Dale Sveum. I have the same concerns that most Sox fans do with respect to Sveum, but I also think his missteps are magnified by the fact that he follows someone who was actually pretty good. How many people remember leaving a game upset over a Mike Cubbage decision?

I just saw a box of new Chocolate Lucky Charms at the grocery store. Somewhere in the wilderness Bill Watterson is screaming "I told you so!"

David Wells is currently listed at a slim 248 pounds. Methinks that measurement is towel-rack assisted.